Tonight has been better than last. I have cried but have also laughed; I'm talking the out of control laughing that makes you cry (thanks to my mom and sister, the only two people in the world that make me laugh like that). I was going to travel to Tahoe for a week with my grandparents but decided that right now I need to be with my mom and sister and not burden my grandparents with my pain. It was the best decision for everyone. My freshman year roommate followed my blog and wrote me the most heart felt message that brought a smile to my face and helped ease some of my painful day. She said something that rang so true. In essence she told me that TRUE LOVE is "true" and if it is true it won't die in a year. A year will make me stronger (and Jordan as well) and then we will be able to love one another more completely. So now as I pray to ease my pain, I also pray that the love we had is the kind that won't fade with distance but will strengthen.
And now to the most important part of this post. I have decided that there are many important things I want to do, experience, accomplish, and NOT do during my transitional year. I have made a so called "bucket list" that I will follow in the hopes of getting the most out of my period of self growth and discovery
* Find a second program that allows me to leave the country sooner than January. I will heal more completely being away then being so close to my pain.
* video record a few cover songs and post my home made music videos on youtube! I want to sing one day so why not start on youtube :-) I will do some songs in English, Arabic, and maybe one Hebrew so look for me on youtube!!!
* Exercise 30 minutes every day
* Visit a country in Africa (aside from Egypt... I'm thinking Morocco!)
* Visit Ida in Argentina
* Go to the West Bank
* Go to at least one Island in Greece
* Finish learning Arabic
* Kayak on the Jordan River
* Skydive and or Bungee Jump (leaning towards skydiving though)
* Live with a host family
* Eat a dish with tomatoes (and for anyone who knows me this will be hard)
* Cross the southern border from Israel to Jordan
* See the sandy city of Petra
* See the Pyramids and Sphinx
* Step foot in the Nile
* Visit Luxor
* Re discover the feeling of God
* Pray every day
* Visit the Western Wall at least twice
* Finish a needle point
* Read The Lord of the Rings trilogy
* Volunteer for someone less fortunate than myself
* Figure out what I want to do in life, or at least find a career I could see myself being happy with (THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!)
NOT TO DO: During my year there are a few things that I will not do...PERIOD
* No dating; this is perhaps the most important. I need time to figure myself out and to do that I need to be free and untied (There will be no one on one with any male peer)
* Don't limit yourself. If I have the chance to travel somewhere TAKE IT!
* Don't spend too much money
* Don't forget anyone back home and keep everyone involved in my adventure
* Don't be scared of the future. Whatever is meant to happen will happen
* Don't let fear limit anything I may want to do
Well that is it. My year long bucket list! I'm scared shitless but know that I need to have this adventure. I will carry everyone from home with me, especially Jordan. He will unknowingly be apart of everything that I do and his strength and independence will help me to be strong as well.
Until Tomorrow then,