For the next year I will be embarking on my transitional journey from living the life of a student to living the life of a self sustaining adult. Let me tell you it is scaring the shit out of me. I will be working, traveling, seeing the world, forgiving, growing, playing, loving, and ultimately finding myself. Perhaps the part that scares me the most is that I will be doing all of this on my own. Today was the end to one of my greatest and most loving romances. For 3 years I have been head over heels in love with one of the best people I know. He is kind, generous, loving, gorgeous, talented, and so much more. While he is my best friend our romance had to be put on hold as we both embark on a journey of self discovery. We have grown so much together but must continue on our own if we ever hope to have a more permanent future. As hard as this is for me I find comfort in the fact that I am more in love with him now than I have ever been in our over 3 years of being Jordan + Jordana. As I partake in this journey of self discovery I hope to carry him with me through all that I do, and I will pray each day that he grows and blossoms, and will pray that one day God will bring us back together. Until that day I will cry and then smile, hurt and then love knowing that I found the real thing at the wrong time. Time is a funny thing; while it heals all wounds it sometimes creates them as well. I pray that the poor timing that created my wounds will help me in overcoming them. The happiest and most passionate of endings come to be that way because of overcoming pain and obstacles. I hope that the pain I feel now will one day lead me back to Jordan with the ability to love him more than I can fathom. Until then I have a lot to learn about both the world and myself, and will spend my year doing just that. wish me luck as I embark on my adventure, and I hope to have all of you with me as I partake in what could be one of the most important events of my life.
Until tomorrow then,